we just found out that my mom's sister is not a match. therefore, we need a donor. this was expected, but what is a little shocking is that mom's oncologist thinks that we should get started on this before we find a donor, which may take months. she's getting a port-a-cath again tomorrow, and will probably start chemo soon. i have been surviving every day since her re-diagnosis with the reassurance that she's feeling good now, which is all that matters. however, once they start chemo, she will be feeling nauseous and weak again... which i don't want to see again.
i know there's nothing i can do, and there's no point in being mad or frustrated, but i can't help feeling like an obstinate two-year old. i don't wanna! i just don't wanna!
i love my mom so much, and i don't want to see her suffer again. but i don't have any choice but to buck up, put on a brave face, and make her as much soup as possible. because that's what we do.
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