Monday, March 10, 2008

living in the aqui

tonight i found myself recounting the weekend's drama to my friend kate, which made me feel bad all over again. not worth it. i spend so much time thinking about the past or dreaming about the future, that i forget to appreciate what i have now. on saturday night i had a lovely drunken conversation with this guy about "living in the now," or as we decided to call it, "living in the aqui."

that is what i am going to do. every time i find myself pining for a long lost time, or wishing i had something that won't ever happen, i am going to instead find something that i have now, and concentrate on being thankful for it. maybe i'll even make a list.

while scooting home from trivia i found myself wishing i was back in d's arms, with him stroking my hair... feeling so peaceful. but that time is past, and there's no point wishing it back.

instead i will be grateful for how lucky i am to live in such a beautiful city, and to be driving such a fun zippy scooter. i had a mahvelous time at trivia with kate and the girls, and i am grateful that i can play and then go home to my comfy bed and purring cat.

i even did something nice for emily tonight too. it is in this mindset that i will go to sleep, and hopefully i will wake up a little less freaked out than i usually do... i hope.

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